


Familial Love

by mikado214



Category: Hollow Knight (Video Games)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Drabble, Family Feels, Gen, How Do I Tag, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikado214/pseuds/mikado214
Summary: Love is a strange things to Hornet.How does one learn how to love when all alone?Did she even ever truly loved her mother?Those questions inhabit her mind.And she isn't sure if she'll ever get an answer.
Relationships: Herrah the Beast & Hornet (Hollow Knight), Hornet & The Knight (Hollow Knight)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Familial Love

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie this fic was 90% projection about my own relationship with my mother and was EXTREMLY cathartic to write. Hope you enjoy it!

Hornet have only a few memories of her mother. It isn’t really surprising, after all she became a dreamer when Hornet was still quite young.  
Most people in her case would say they hold onto those memories like treasure, treats them like precious things, and elevate this now gone parental figure as one of the best thing in their life.  
And perhaps Hornet felt the same way before.  
But now she wasn’t so sure about that.  
Was this selfish?  
Was this bad?

Hallownest is vast. Traveling through it by foot is quite the task. Thankfully Hornet has her needle, her thread, and intense training to be able to learn to master it.  
This was one of the few memories she had of her mother.   
Herrah training her, to learn how to swing, how to produce silk, how to use the needle effectively.  
Those are good skills to have now, but was this truly necessary at such a young age?  
Her mother had high standards. She wanted the best for her daughter, wanted her to succeed.  
After all Herrah had made such a high bargain to be able to have a child, so it was only natural to want them to become the very best version of themselves, right?  
But Hornet was just a child, and yes this was good for her in the long run, but this taught her that any failure meant less love. That love was like a transaction, you must succeed to get it.  
This didn’t taught her how to be better, this taught her how to be a liar.  
To hide her failures, pretend everything was going fine when it wasn’t, learn how to take care of her own wounds.  
Because wounds were failures weren’t they?  
And despite all of her efforts, all of her genuine progress, Hornet felt like a fraud, because she knew that to get there she had to fake it until she made it.  
Did she truly deserve that love?

Those were the thoughts of her younger self, her fear. Hornet has matured now.  
This isn’t how love should work.  
Love isn’t a transaction.  
But then what is it?  
That, she is still unsure of.  
Perhaps she’ll learn it, one day.  
Perhaps not.

Whatever it is….  
She doesn’t think that she feels it for her mother, at least now.  
Because yes, her mother wasn’t a bad person.  
Some might have considered her a hero before everything collapsed.  
She made great sacrifices, and Hornet is sure that her mother loved her.  
But Herrah wasn’t fully ready to be a parent.  
She tried her best, but never took a step back to realise the pressure she was putting on her.  
She never took a step back, to realise that her daughter was hurt.  
And Hornet knows that there are worst parents.  
Hornet knows about the Pale King.  
But just because Hornet’s relationship with her mother wasn’t shattered didn’t mean that the cracks that were there weren’t important.  
But people never really focused on cracked cups.  
So Hornet’s mother will go down in history as a great parent, ready to sacrifice it all for her daughter.  
Hornet wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Hornet sits next to her recently deceased mother.  
There was a hint of sadness there but also so many other things.  
Perhaps she should be sobbing, or grieving.  
But Herrah was never that important to her.  
Was this selfish?  
Perhaps.  
Hornet never hated her mother.  
But she never loved her either.  
What a strange relationship.  
It is hard to put into words how she hurt her. Because it was never intentional.  
But the scars are still there. Both physical and mentally.  
And Hornet knows that she won’t be able to forgive those.

Hornet hears little footsteps coming from one of the corridors.  
The little ghost had come back, despite Hornet asking them to leave.  
They were clearly concerned about her. How long had she been there?  
Ghost sat next to her and put their head in her lap.  
Usually, she would have rejected such affection. But perhaps she needed it today.  
She absentmindedly petted their sibling’s head, as small soothing purrs came out of them.  
Hornet wasn’t too familiar with the warmth spreading in her chest.  
Perhaps this was love.


End file.
